How to make friends at work...From a distance
Let's face it, it's harder to make good connections on distributed teams. Working from home has become the new normal for many of us, but one thing we might miss from the office is the social aspect. But just because we're not physically in the same room doesn't mean we can't make friends with our colleagues! Here's how to make remote work friends.
Build relationships over video calls
In the remote world, this is the main vehicle we have for connecting. A few tips for building relationships over video:
Take advantage of small talk. Just like in the office, take a few moments before each call to chat about something unrelated to work. Whether it's the weather, your weekend plans, or what you had for lunch, these conversations can help reveal a human side to your teammates and give you something to laugh about.
Make it a habit. Regular video calls with colleagues can help you build a rapport with them over time, whether it’s through project work or virtual social hours. Consider holding monthly coffee chats with a few coworkers, or starting a virtual book club or happy hour.
Show your personality. Remote work can sometimes feel impersonal, but you can use video calls to let your personality shine through. Seeing a cat pop into the video, starting a meeting with an ice breaker, showing your tattoos, wearing your favorite team’s jersey, sharing your art website into the #random channel… Act natural and everyone will enjoy seeing the real you.
Throw away the agenda. Sometimes you just need to blow up the meeting and ask a more open ended question. Get people talking and let their opinions surface.
Collaborate on projects
Just working can be a way to make friends, especially if you're working on an OKR with the same team members for an extended period of time. Make the most of your project collaborations:
Give and receive feedback. A culture of feedback is a key component of building trust. Make sure to share the reasoning and data behind your feedback, keep it constructive, and be open to receiving feedback on your own work as well.
Celebrate successes. When you and your team have hit a goal or completed something big, take a moment to celebrate their accomplishments. Send an email to the team, craft an emoji-laden slack message, and shout them out in the meeting.
Teach each other. The best part of working on a small, agile team is the tight concentration of brilliance all working together. When moments for mentorship come up naturally, it can build bonds between two colleagues with similar interests or goals.
Meet up with people in your area
If you're lucky enough to live in the same area as some of your colleagues, why not meet up in person? In San Diego, I used to meet with 2 colleagues every Friday at a coworking place, and we’d have a nice long leisurely Friday lunch and spend the afternoon brainstorming. It was a wonderful change of pace and a way to have fun with my teammates.
Choose a fun location. Choose a location that everyone will enjoy. Not everyone enjoys alcohol, so keep that in mind if you’re keen on happy hour. You can also consider organizing a group outing to do something more adventurous, like hiking or a cooking class.
Be inclusive. Make sure to include everyone who wants to attend, regardless of their role or seniority within the company. Help everyone feel welcome and included.
Set a budget. Is the company buying lunch? Are they renting the coworking space? Be sure to get clear from management on what’s an HR perk and what’s just socializing.
