Networking made easy(er): How to network online and IRL when you're fully remote (and hate networking)

Let’s be real—just hearing the word networking can give you visions of awkward small talk, blazers with shoulder pads, and stiff handshakes at events you didn’t want to attend. Now, throw in the fact that you’re fully remote so the idea of chatting with other people, let alone strangers, has you looking for the nearest exit - and you’re at your own house! 😂

Networking doesn’t have to be a total anxiety-inducing nightmare

I promise.

Whether you’re working from your couch in sweatpants or Zooming into meetings from a café, networking really is the key to opening doors to new opportunities, collaborations, and growth.

The best part? It can be fun—and yes, even enjoyable! I’m here to help networking feel more like a casual hang sesh and less like a corporate obligation.

You got this.

So, what exactly makes networking so anxiety-inducing?

For a lot of us, it boils down to a few key fears:

• You don’t want to come off as salesy
  You’re not trying to come off as some sleazy used car salesman giving off Danny Devito vibes in Matilda. If you’re already nervous about this, there’s no way you’re going to be that guy.

• Small talk gives you anxiety
  I get it. There's a fear of running out of things to say and getting stuck in an uncomfortable, silent moment. Trust me, you’re not the only person in the room with this fear. If it happens, just call it out! Then you can bond over the fact that networking and small talk kind of stresses you out. Boom! Now you have a new friend and a common enemy.

• Fear of rejection
  The thought of being dismissed or ignored by others, cold responses or being ghosted, can make networking seem too risky. But people are literally at a networking event to meet other people. Why would they go out of their way to alienate a new person? That’s the opposite of what they’re there to do, so I think you’re safe.

• You’re worried it’s a waste of time
  If you’re only focused on collecting contacts, referral partners, and potential clients, you can start to feel like it’s a waste of time if they don’t immediately add money to your bank account. But if you flip the script and think of this as a long game, where you’re just making friends, it takes the pressure off and you can enjoy yourself with way less stress. You might not make a new friend at every single event you go to, but you gotta get out there to find out.

Most of the pressure we feel around networking is self-imposed

When you’re stuck in your own head, worrying about saying the wrong thing or not being impressive enough, it’s easy to forget that everyone else is just as human (and possibly just as nervous).

The problem with letting this anxiety take over is that it keeps you from showing up as your authentic self, or showing up at all. Instead of making genuine connections, you end up stressing, overthinking, and missing out on potential opportunities.

But the good news is that once you recognize what’s causing your anxiety, you can work on letting it go—and that’s when networking becomes so much easier and way more fun!

Wowee, we're having such a great and casual time working on our businesses together. This doesn't even feel like networking!

How can you shift your mindset around networking?

Reframe the transactional nature of it all. When you start to think about just connecting with people instead of “networking” with professionals to get something out of it, it will automatically feel lighter.

Let go of the pressure to “perform,” and just treat it like a hang out with people who might share your interests, challenges, or goals. At its core, networking is about relationships, not perfect pitches.

Networking expert Julie Brown recommends her List Yourself approach. Literally make a list before you go into an event of things about you. My list would include my love of all things 80s, being a fan of almost every Real Housewives franchise, recently going gluten free, and being a mom to two young kids. Those are all things that have nothing to do with business and would be fun conversations to have.

I host regular Pop-Up Networking Parties where the questions inspired by a rotating cast of co-hosts are designed to spark conversation about real life while weaving their businesses into the conversation. People love these events because they get to talk about what they do in the context of life. Instead of just rattling off a stressful elevator pitch.

One question was: “​​Annie's podcast Too Legitimate to Quit invites guests to talk about something from Pop Culture and relate it to their business in some way! People have talked about Survivor, Dungeons and Dragons, MTV, and even Pee-Wee's Playhouse (ok, that one was me). What can you relate from pop culture to your business? And how does it relate?” 

Can you start to see how people can really connect over the human side of things? No one wants to work with or send referrals to someone they don’t know or like. But how can we get to know each other better if all we’re doing is rattling off our elevator pitches?

Sounds great, but how do you get started?

Easy steps to take:

• Be intentional on social media
  If you are feeling some anxiety about hopping into a Zoom room to network, start by being intentional and reaching out to your existing network on social media.
  Comment on their posts and start participating in conversations over on your favorite social platforms. It doesn’t matter if you choose LinkedIn, Instagram, or TikTok, don’t stress yourself out about where you’re showing up, just show up.
  Hanging out on your favorite social media platforms is a low-pressure way to start networking without feeling overwhelmed.

• Email an old friend and let them know you’ve been thinking about them
  If it’s been a hot second since you reached out to them, Julie Brown reminds us that you just need 5 little words to start that conversation again: “I’ve been thinking about you!”
  Start the conversation and once you’re caught up you can let them know what your latest offers are and just make sure they’re up to date on what you’re currently doing in your business.
  But this is super important! Networking isn’t a one way street. Ask them for updates on their business too, how you might be able to help, and be on the lookout for anyone you might want to introduce them to.

• Write a thank you letter to an old client
  It’s easy to get bogged down in the day-to-day things that need to get done in our businesses and often times truly thanking our clients can fall by the wayside.
  You can re-open the door to those relationships you’ve built with past clients by just sending them an email, a LinkedIn message, or even mailing them a handwritten note! It’s just a way to stay top of mind with them and continue nurturing that relationship. 

Networking doesn’t have to be scary… it can actually be fun!

At the end of the day, networking is really just about making new friends. It doesn’t have to feel like a stuffy business obligation or a nerve-wracking performance. Instead, think of it as an opportunity to meet new people, share ideas, and maybe even make a few new friends along the way.

It’s really just about having conversations, whether you’re sliding into someone’s DMs, attending a virtual event in your sweatpants, or (GULP) talking to people in person.

Forget collecting business cards or LinkedIn connections; instead reach out to others in ways that feel authentic to you. Start small, be yourself, and focus on building genuine relationships instead of stressing about perfect elevator pitches. 

And trust me, once you take that first step, you might find it's easier to take another – even if it's in a different direction. Let's dance, y'all!