Should I stay or leave my job?

A reader asked us…

My immediate boss is very skilled at his job, a 26-year employee, but not a good manager. He micromanages and has a quick temper which has caused many fall outs between us. I’ve been to HR and have had many discussions with him about it. The money is good but not my main objective, I need purpose, meaning and flexibility.

Should I leave or stay a bit longer to see if things get better? My crew doesn't want me to quit and I'm not ready to be a homebody yet. My divorce is final soon, maybe I should find a girlfriend after the divorce is final and do some traveling, find some meaning other than a job? LIfe can be confusing. Thanks for bending an ear.

Should you stay or should you go?

It’s not always as easy as making a pros/cons list. Your boss may or may not be a narcissist, but either way it’s difficult working with a micromanager.

To directly answer your question, if these people are the way they've always been, it is unlikely that they will change and things will "get better". Plus, you need to define what "get better" means to you – does it mean more autonomy, or more responsibility?

Consult your gut

When you put your two choices on a coin and flip it, see how you feel when the coin is in mid-air. Are you subconsciously disappointed in the results of the flip? Or did you hope in the middle of the air that it would land on one side or the other?

The chances are, you know what you want deep down but there are a lot of variables making the decision difficult, including not wanting to let your team down or lose your daily social circle.

Tapping into your heart and asking, "does this help me get closer to my version of personal success, or farther away?" will help you know what's right for you.

Leave whenever you want, can, or have to

Beyond that, it really depends on your financial situation. If you are able to take the time off to "explore yourself" then you can leave whenever it feels right to you.

You're right that "meaning in life" can take many forms and especially as you get older it doesn't have to come from work. Maybe it's time to think about an old dream or goal you want to pick back up.

In the meantime, go into work knowing that their issues are always about them, and not you. If you can use that to let things slide and more or less ignore it the best you can and still do your job well, then stay until you absolutely can't anymore, or you find your next thing. But if you feel like you're ready to see what's next and you can afford it, leave when you want to. 

Congratulations for having the intention and deliberation to care for yourself in your next chapter, whatever form it takes.